Today is my day off and I am spending it enjoying Was ZZ Top right? Is every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man?
I know this is just Matt being a smart ass, but I’ll answer nonetheless. Yes. Yes it is.
Though I should point out that the definition of “sharp” is subjective...
I’ve been best friends with the most amazing girl in the world for four years. But she just wants to stay friends. How do I get her to see me as more?
Ooh. That’s rough. I wish I had the answer to that. I met a guy a few weeks ago through adult intramural sports who is AMAZING. I would bathe Kirstie Alley up close and personal – i.e. without rubber gloves or a rag on a stick – for the chance to feel his lips pressed against mine just once.
[I stand by my statement...and also vomit in my mouth a little]
But, unfortunately for me, he ‘say she just a friend’ [Unrequited crush frownies]. The sad fact is we have no control over who does, or in our cases, does not find us attractive in a romantic/sexual sense. If you’ve been spending time with this girl for four years, she obviously has a lot of redeeming qualities and you shouldn’t shut her out of your life. But it looks like you’re just going to have to be satisfied with having her in your life in a platonic capacity and look elsewhere for romance. Past experience precludes me from asserting that she’ll never come around, but you can’t pin your hopes and dreams on a ‘maybe someday’ situation. Date other people to take your mind off of her until you find someone who’s as into you as you are her [That’s why I’m going out with a 35-year-old southern stereotype on Friday]. And until then, hang out with me in the friendzone. I’ll bring some whiskey.
[With a name that rhymes with “endzone”, you’d think it’d be a happy place. Also, is it an indicator of a sort of social regionalism that I assume that anyone with a thick southern drawl is fan of hate-crimin'?]
Why do you hate Entourage so much?
Because it’s a predictable, formulaic, just generally poorly written, unfunny, circlejerk with one-dimensional characters played by mercilessly douchey actors (though I admit to liking the Piv in other things) that degrades and exploits the female players in a pathetic attempt to appeal to some ridiculous adolescent (sometimes even pre-pubescent) male fantasy. In the opinion of most self-respecting women, admitting to liking this steaming pile of sh-t is an indicator, not only of terrible taste in television, but a person who is, at best, easily entertained and at worst, still has the mind and relationship skills/goals of a high schooler. Truth be told, if I meet an amazing guy who mysteriously likes this diarrhea, I’m not going to stop seeing him or anything. It’s not that strong a hatred. I just rarely find myself attracted to the kinds of guys who watch it.
Also, Kevin Dillon looks like Matt Dillon’s real-life Cubert Farnsworth:
“Why's his nose different than yours?"
"I left him in his first test tube too long and he got all mushed up against the side…"
Well that’s it, loyal triumvirate of readers. Two unfunny posts in one day. Now if you’ll excuse me, my underboob won’t tan itself…well I guess it will, kinda, but not unless I go back outside.
I have to first off declare myself as an Entourage fan, and I'll take a moment to justify that. Entourage is a guilty pleasure for men. Just because we like it does not mean we endorse the behavior exemplified in the show. It just means that there's a small part of us that wishes things really could be that way, just like there is a small part of every woman that wishes life was like Sex and the City. Which, by the way, is a good indicator to me of a woman. Much like Entourage is a red flag for you, so too is Sex and the City a good indicator to me. All is fair in love and war.
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