Women don't like nice guys? Intro

Over the past three to four months, seven of my male friends have had failed relationships [Empathetic frownies]. Of those seven, six have expressed - some over the phone, some over beers, some in sad, poorly written Facebook posts - that the reason they can't hold on to a woman is that "women like assholes." Cause being introspective is for pussies, amiright? As a woman, I can assure you that, not only is that not the case, but that disparaging our gender with some whiney, self-indulgent excuse for your problems is not exactly an aphrodisiac [Ed. Note: Think tumbleweeds in our panties...wait...]. A relationship can fail for a myriad of reasons. But if you're constantly on the receiving end of a 'Dear John', the problem might be you [and by 'might', I mean 'certainly is']. And I guaran-f--cking-tee you that it's not because you're 'a nice guy'. So while Laura and Amanda handle your questions and comments, I'm going to be devoting my next several posts to mythbusting this thing once and for all [You know, among the four dudes actually reading this].

Please keep in mind that I'm not doing this from a place of arrogance or social superiority. I am terrible at coming onto men. Scott Peterson would have an easier time getting a date in a lamaze class than I would naked at a Dungeons and Dragons convention. In proof of God's cruel sense of humor, he apparently thought it would be awesome to bestow upon me an absolute disgust for vaginas [Well, other people's vaginas anyway] coupled with a totally-useless-to-me, never-fail ability to pick up women. But, as urban kids might say, I 'flipped the script' on said 'whack' deity and have been using my powers to help male friends convince girls to sleep with them for the better part of 14 years. I'm like that Pick Up Artist guy from VH-1, except I'm not a giant douche and I don't dress like the bastard child of Jamiroquia and a gay, nineteenth-century magician
[Ed. Note: Only in LA could that guy ever see a woman naked without a warrant being issued].

But, if you don't trust me as a wingman, keep in mind, the following posts aren't about getting you laid, that's a horse of a different color. This is about what you're doing wrong in finding and keeping a relationship. I am a woman, vagina and all, and many of my friends share that affliction. So please allow me to offer a little insight into what may be going wrong. Just based on my experiences and those of my lady-friends.